To commit to something is to have the willingness to give your time and energy to something you believe in. It is my personal belief that those who willingly give their time and energy into that one act disregarding anything else and putting their all to do what they love is the noblest of all. I am not so noble.
I find it difficult to commit to acts that others may find simple and straightforward. This lack of initiative may be due to my childhood which was an unmitigated mess of bad decisions. When I was young, I was diagnosed with ADHD the severity of which i am unsure to this day. Although I am confident to say it was mild if I was told otherwise I would not have a shred of doubt. My childhood was a mess of nettlesome jokes and any other word that is opposite of orderly. To say that i was committed to anything at all during my childhood would be nothing less than a farfetched joke.
The result of such a childhood left me as I am now, a frankenstein yearning for affection. As such I adore indulging myself in such careless fantasies such as *omitted*. Commitment is a difficult hurdle for me to climb as it firmly opposes the way I have lived my life for the last 16 years. I abhor commitment, yet I yearn for change.
Andromedia 